Remember When

REMEMBER WHEN

When I spill some food on my dress

Or forget to tie my shoe

Please be patient and perhaps reminisce

About the hours I spent with you.

Teaching you how to eat with care

And to tie the laces on your shoe

How to brush your teeth and comb your hair

These were precious hours I spent with you.

And when I forget what I was about to say

Just give me a minute or two

It probably wasn't important anyway

I would much rather listen to you.

If I tell the same story time after time

And you know the ending before I'm through

Please remember your first nursery rhyme

When I read it a hundred times for you.

When my legs are tired and it's hard to stand

And I can't walk the steady pace I'd like to

Please take me carefully by the hand

And guide me now as I so often did for you.

Alzheimer's Tiptoed in
and Carried You Both Away
by
William Smiley

When we're together, I look in your eyes and...nothing.
That glimmer that was once there, now is gone.
Sometimes I wonder if you even know my name,
what time it is... yesterday... what's been done.
Your mind seems so clouded and confused;
you sit and try to understand.
I even wonder what it is that's left of you:
a blank face, behind a smiling mask.
Some days are good days,
others are bad.
The Alzheimer's has control.
Then, it seems to have disappeared.
You don't understand
and you strike at me,
seem to realize the reality,
and you're sorry, no longer mad.
We walk, precious moments, in the park,
even though you're winded fast.
I look to these times in the dark,
when you think it's morning, ready to start anew.
It's strange, how you once cared for me,
and now it's I who cares for you.
Each moment of needed sleep I stay away from you,
I feel relieved, but guilty. I'm not there...
You often walk the halls,
something's troubling you.
If I ask, and you speak, I don't understand.
Your voice is mumbles, gasps, and even stranger sounds.
Oh how I wish that I could ease the pain.
The world you once knew has crumbled, fallen down.
The time has come
for us to part.
If I had one wish come true,
it would be: you'd find the love I have for you.
But this unseen killer with the booming voice
has called, and taken you away.
One last time, I whisper in your ear,
"I love you mom and dad, and I know you love me too."

A Christmas Miracle-Anna's birth

I have been sorting through old papers and photographs of mine, mom and dad's and my grandparents. I have one letter that my grandmother, LouElla, had written to an Aunt Merry in 1902!

This is a letter I wrote to myself March 28th 1993 about the birth of our daughter, Anna.

A most wonderful thing God hath done in our lives. A baby, Anna Joy, born on Christmas Day 1992! After I lost Merry in August I was sad and wondered what God had for us. We continued to trust and by April I was again carrying a little girl. We were very careful-I ate well, took my vitamins and didn't travel in the car much. My weight and blood pressure stayed good the entire pregnancy.

Christmas was on a Friday and the Tuesday before it Doug and I went to the hospital in the middle of the night-I thought I was in labour. I was not and was sent home. My doctor was leaving on vacation the day after Christmas-but God knew all of this and had everything in His control. By His grace we were able to do everything-we decorated the house, baked cookies, made fruitcake, shopped, wrapped all the gifts and had a nice turkey dinner all ready. Christmas morning I thought, " Today will be the day"! We had our time of presents (Nat and Christy were with us). then we had a good breakfast- a rest followed and then supper at 5. Kristin joined us for supper, I did not eat because I thought I might deliver soon. Doug read aloud the story of the Missionary Barrel.

I started serious contractions at about 6p.m.- said "goodbye" to everyone and Doug and I left for the hospital about 7. The nurse examined me about 7:45.   3 centimeters dilated (not much, I thought). There was bleeding and that worried me. Contractions were average-checked again at 8:30-8 centimeters. Doctor summoned( he was attending a party just a mile or so away)-room readied.

They told me to push, but I had no urge to push-Suddenly everything seemed critical. I heard Dr.Waran say, "I don't like the way the heartbeat looks on the monitor". The nurse then leaned on my upper abdomen and cried, "PUSH"

God truly intervened for I never thought I could push. All at once there she was-not crying though. she had swallowed blood-soon got her going but she was in the isolet and I couldn't see her for 2 hours.Then she was brought to me all warm and beautiful-Anna Joy-born on Christmas Day, 1992. 9:10p.m.

Doug stayed all night. He had the children come over to the hospital about 10:30. Nat and Christy were there too. So wonderful. I wonder what I looked like.

The next morning, Saturday, Dr. Waran came in and told me that 10 more minutes and we would have had a dead baby! The placenta had separated too early-it came with the baby.

Thank you Lord for your mercy.

Now Anna is at Bible college studying music education.

She has been a great blessing to us all these 19 years.

 Love you, Anna Joy.

 Alex, Lena, Joe, Christy, Nat, me, Anna and Doug

If My People

Veterans Day 11/11/'11

An old poster I found among Dad's belongings.

Sutter Living Center has five men now--Curly, Carl, Dad, Art and Bob. All could remember their time in the war.

Curly, Art and dad..most of our remaining WW2 veterans look just like this--old and in wheelchairs.  They felt honored and appreciated during this presentation.

Art was so cute when he was getting ready for the event--he was told to go comb his hair in his room and when he came out his hair WAS combed-but he had his bathrobe on!!!! So, back in he went and with a little help he was all ready and on time, too. You can tell by looking at his picture that he is very sweet. He and his wife have been married for 70 years!!! They lived in Manistee and were also sailors-and had a boat just like mom and dad.

 Bob was in the army and helped liberate two concentration camps.

 They did a very nice power point presentation this year.

 Actually, dad was getting ready to cry as this picture was being taken--Bob was sitting at our table and dad began to think of his brother, Bob. He asked me if Bob Probeck was also present.

My father-in-law, Richard Truitt.

Mom and Dad still holding hands and needing each other.

And would a trip in Michigan during hunting season be complete without a scene like this one that we passed on our way home!!

11/11/'11 It's been ten years -- Paul, we miss you and we love you.

Remember ME

To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated.
To the happy, I am at peace.
To the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot speak, but I can listen.
I cannot be seen but I can be heard.
So as you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty,
Remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, and your memories.
Of the times we cried, the times we fought, and the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.

MUSINGS

I stopped at the perfume counter in Macy’s the other day while in Traverse City. I had been reading an article saying that every woman has a “signature fragrance” and I was wondering what mine might be.

In the 60’s and early 70’s I loved patchouli ( the hippie fragrance).

Occasionally someone passes me by wearing patchouli and my thoughts wander back to the days of wearing my favorite army jacket (purchased at the army surplus store), unfiltered cigarettes, listening to Bob Dylan on the stereo and idealistic dreams of a better world.

 Like the “Occupy” people in the news today we were driven by vision more than wisdom - exuberance more than experience and hope that a better world can come from the hand and mind of man; little realizing that it can only come from God.

Idealism was quietly hidden away and replaced with responsibility as I married and we raised a big family. Two daughters brought hair spray and perfume into my life for the first time. I thought a daily shower and good soap was all the fragrance I needed. There probably was one fragrance that defined me. Having had a bad neck all my adult life I guess  the one fragrance that really said, “ME” was Tiger’s Balm, but is that the fragrance I really want to be remembered by??

That thought is what took me to Macy’s last week-I was truly a stranger in a strange land at the perfume counter. A young woman came over to help me and we sprayed little pieces of white cardboard with different perfumes--I just knew I was going to get a headache as all the smells began to blend into one another--I had sprayed some on my wrists (when the salesgirl wasn’t looking) and on my arms and now I was feeling rather sick.

I left without a purchase-   actually, I felt like running out of the store but controlled myself and walked slowly as if I were still contemplating buying something. Where was Anna or Lena when I really needed them--how did I ever go into the perfume section all alone!

At home I thought about fragrance some more and remembered that God has something to say about the subject. There is a fragrance He desires for us.

2 Corinthians 2:14-16
King James Version (KJV)
14Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour (sweet aroma) of his knowledge by us in every place.
15For we are unto God a sweet savour(fragrance) of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish:
16To the one we are the savour(aroma) of death unto death; and to the other the savour(aroma) of life unto life.

May we put on the sweet fragrance of Christ that draws all people to Him--I did not know where true freedom lay back in the 60’s and 70’s-now I know--In Christ is found new life and that better world that we all seek.

Matthew 11:27-29
King James Version (KJV)
28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
John 3:15-17
King James Version (KJV)
15That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.