Travels with Alz Heimer

When I'm 64

2012-01-22T17:39:00.001-05:00

TO ALL THOSE BOOMERS BORN IN 1948--WE WILL BE 64 THIS YEAR-and THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

Better Than Silver or Gold

2012-01-18T12:58:00.000-05:00

A Story about Preparing

By O.F. Walton

One day at a luncheon Miss Lloyd brought a beautiful ring in to show us. Ho! It was a beauty. There was a ring of lovely large diamonds all around it. She told us that her friend had given it to her before she died. “Now,” she said, “you are all my friends, and I want a bit of advice. I am going to start tomorrow on a long journey; I am going to travel in foreign lands and stop at all sorts of inns and lodging places. Do you think it would be safe for me to take my ring with me?”

One of the women spoke up who’s always ready with advice, “I wouldn’t advise you to do so. You may take it off and forget it and leave it behind.”

“That’s just what I’ve been thinking,” said Miss Lloyd; “thank you for your advice. I’m sure my ring will not be safe, and I can’t keep it safe myself; well then, what shall I do?”

“Couldn’t you trust it to somebody, to take care of for you?” said another woman.

“Thank you, that is a good idea. I think it’s the best thing I can do. Now let me think,” said Miss Lloyd; “I must get some one who is able to take care of it, and who is willing too. Oh, I know,” she said; “there’s my brother-he is able. He has a safe deposit box at the bank.” When she asked him to keep it for her he was happy to do it.

“I feel quite happy about my ring. And now you won’t mind my asking you what are you going to do with your treasure?”

We assured Miss Lloyd that we did not have any treasure to worry about.

“You have a treasure worth far, far more than a ring. I mean your precious soul, which will live for ever and ever and ever somewhere; your undying self! Only your body will go in the grave; you yourself will be living for ever. I want each one of you to ask this question: What about my soul? Is it safe?”

Then she told us we were traveling through an enemy’s country; satan and his evil spirits wanted to get our treasure. She told us we could not keep our soul safe ourselves; if we tried we should certainly lose it, as she would have lost her ring. Then she said, “ Dear friends, what shall it profit you, if you gain the whole would, and lose your own soul?”

“I want you to do as you advised me to do. I want you to get someone to keep your treasure for you-someone who is able, some one who is willing; who shall it be?”

“I suppose you mean the Lord,” one of the women said.

“Yes, I mean the Lord Jesus. He is able, for He has all power; He is willing, for He died on purpose that He might do so. Won’t you trust your treasure to Him, and say, Lord Jesus, here is my soul; I can’t keep it myself; satan wants to get it for his own. I trust it to Thee; I commit it to Thee to be saved.”

Well, that very night I knelt down in the kitchen, and trusted my soul to the Lord Jesus to be saved, because He had died for me; I put my soul in His hands and I know He will keep it safe.

As I was telling this to a friend she said, “it’s to be hoped He will.”

I know He will-I don’t doubt Him because He said, “ I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day.”

“Well,” my friend said, “it seems all right when you put it like that, and I wish I was as happy as you are, but I am just an old woman and somehow I’m afraid He wouldn’t do it for me.” “Let’s look at this hymn together then,” I said.

Jesus, I will trust Thee, trust Thee with my soul!

Guilty, lost, and helpless, Thou canst make me whole.

There is none in heaven or on earth like Thee;

Thou hast died for sinners-therefore, Lord, for me.

Jesus, I do trust Thee, trust without a doubt,

Whosoever cometh Thou wilt not cast out:

Faithful is The promise, precious is Thy blood-

These my soul’s salvation, Thou my Saviour God!

I asked her to trust her soul to Jesus that very night. The next day she came to tell me that she had prayed, but that she was afraid.

“What are you afraid of?” I asked her.

“Why, I am afraid of getting cold and hard again. I am afraid of slipping into all the bad, old ways again. Why I’ve tried to pray and to read my Bible scores of times before, but my mind has soon gone wandering away and I just can’t seem to keep an interest. How do I know it won’t be like that again?”

“You can’t get cold and hard if the fire burns bright,” I said, and the Lord will keep it lit.”

“What do you mean by fire?”

“Miss Lloyd showed us a picture of a fire burning on a hearth, a bright, cheerful little fire. And in front of the fire was a man throwing buckets full of water on it to put it out; but the fire was blazing away, and did not seem a bit worse for it. You see, behind the fire, on the other side of the wall, another was standing; and this one was quietly pouring oil into the fire to keep it burning. And it never had a chance of going out for the oil did it a deal more good than the water did it harm.”

“Well,” my friend said, “of course it would be so: oil makes a fire keep going; but what has that got to do with me?”

“The fire is the work of grace in our hearts. As soon as we trusted our souls to Jesus to be saved, that fire was lighted, the good work was begun. But we must not forget that we have an enemy. Satan will try to put the fire out. He’ll send somebody to laugh at you, or to plague you about turning religious. That’s one bucket of water! He’ll send you a lot of work to do , to try and make you think you’ve no time to think about your soul. That’s another bucket of water! He’ll have all sorts of pleasures, and cares, and difficulties ready, all of them buckets of water!”

“Satan has buckets of water but the dear Lord has His bottle of oil. It’s the Holy Spirit who alone can make us good. Or keep us good. And if the Lord puts His Holy Spirit in our hearts, it’s no use Satan trying to put the fire out; he’ll have to give it up for a bad job.” I told her bring me the Bible and I read this to her:

“He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

“Do you think He will do that for me?” my friend asked.

“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him?”

My friend then knelt down and said, “O Lord, I am a poor sinful old woman, but I want Thee to save me. O Lord Jesus, Thou hast died for me. I trust my soul to Thee. Here it is, I put it into Thy hands. Oh give me Thy Holy Spirit; keep the fire bright in my soul, please, Lord Jesus, do. Amen.”

The soul that to Jesus has fled for repose,

He will not, He will not desert to its foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavour to shake,

He’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

Thanksgiving visit with Great Grandma--posted by Lena

2012-01-14T23:50:00.002-05:00

Was so wonderful to bring Samuel for his second visit to see Great Grandma and Great Grandpa. Grandma was enthralled with him and kept wanting to kiss him and make sure he was "safe". I guess the motherly instinct never leaves.

Sammy loves looking at hands

Feel blessed to have been able to spend time with Great Grandma, someday I will be able to show him this and tell him all the wonderful memories I have of her.

Grandpa got a turn with Sammy too, he wasn't so sure about it but endured it for a few minutes (grandpa that is)

Grandma and Grandpa kept holding hands, the love runs deep

Old Folks

2012-01-14T19:13:00.004-05:00

Mom and Dad always enjoyed Jonathan Winters comedy albums-- I remember listening to them on the record player when we lived in Western Springs.

Now he is old, too. just like them.

Mom and Dad, how much we will miss you when you are gone.

May we love you well while we can still see you and hold your hands and kiss your wrinkled faces.

May we give back to you a portion of all you have given to us for these many years.

CHRISTMAS AT SUTTER LIVING CENTER

2012-01-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

We were gathered for a musical presentation--however the musicians were not able to come at the last moment. So, Pat's husband took over quite well and led us all in singing Christmas songs and telling the story of Jesus' birth.

Art and MaryAnn Blakesly with their son.

The tables were all set so nicely. Everything was beautifully done for a lovely evening.

Doug always enjoys our visits. We all spent so many Christmases together with Mom and Dad and I am glad we were able to be together in 2011!

Matthew 1:21And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

2011-12-05T21:48:00.000-05:00

Christmas Memories

2011-12-05T09:21:00.004-05:00

So many times Mom took us to see "The Nutcracker" in Chicago.

The Possum That Didn't

One of my favourite books from my child hood is 'The Possum That Didn't' by Frank Tashlin.
It is a story of a little possum that would hang upside down in his tree; smiling at the world. Until one day the 'people from the city' came on an outing to the country side and saw the possum hanging upside down; thinking he was sad.
As the story goes on the 'people from the city' take the possum to the city where 'everyone is happy' to make him SMILE. And as time goes by the possum gets sadder and sadder until his mouth turns down...into what the city folk think is a smile! Written and illustrated by Frank Tashlin in 1951; this wonderful book with a message that is still poignant today is part of series of books by the same author. Another one of his books of this time is The Bear that Wasn't.
This title was made into a cartoon in 1960 and is one to try and look up...
What I love is the simplicity of the illustrations that draw you in with their graphic wit and emotional depth; all in Black and White from this first edition of 'The Possum That Didn't' 1951.

Remember When

2011-11-17T14:01:00.000-05:00

REMEMBER WHEN

When I spill some food on my dress

Or forget to tie my shoe

Please be patient and perhaps reminisce

About the hours I spent with you.

Teaching you how to eat with care

And to tie the laces on your shoe

How to brush your teeth and comb your hair

These were precious hours I spent with you.

And when I forget what I was about to say

Just give me a minute or two

It probably wasn't important anyway

I would much rather listen to you.

If I tell the same story time after time

And you know the ending before I'm through

Please remember your first nursery rhyme

When I read it a hundred times for you.

When my legs are tired and it's hard to stand

And I can't walk the steady pace I'd like to

Please take me carefully by the hand

And guide me now as I so often did for you.

Alzheimer's Tiptoed in
and Carried You Both Away
by
William Smiley

When we're together, I look in your eyes and...nothing.
That glimmer that was once there, now is gone.
Sometimes I wonder if you even know my name,
what time it is... yesterday... what's been done.
Your mind seems so clouded and confused;
you sit and try to understand.
I even wonder what it is that's left of you:
a blank face, behind a smiling mask.
Some days are good days,
others are bad.
The Alzheimer's has control.
Then, it seems to have disappeared.
You don't understand
and you strike at me,
seem to realize the reality,
and you're sorry, no longer mad.
We walk, precious moments, in the park,
even though you're winded fast.
I look to these times in the dark,
when you think it's morning, ready to start anew.
It's strange, how you once cared for me,
and now it's I who cares for you.
Each moment of needed sleep I stay away from you,
I feel relieved, but guilty. I'm not there...
You often walk the halls,
something's troubling you.
If I ask, and you speak, I don't understand.
Your voice is mumbles, gasps, and even stranger sounds.
Oh how I wish that I could ease the pain.
The world you once knew has crumbled, fallen down.
The time has come
for us to part.
If I had one wish come true,
it would be: you'd find the love I have for you.
But this unseen killer with the booming voice
has called, and taken you away.
One last time, I whisper in your ear,
"I love you mom and dad, and I know you love me too."

A Christmas Miracle

2011-11-15T13:17:00.000-05:00

I have been sorting through old papers and photographs of mine, mom and dad's and my grandparents. I have one letter that my grandmother, LouElla, had written to an Aunt Merry in 1902!

This is a letter I wrote to myself March 28th 1993 about the birth of our daughter, Anna.

A most wonderful thing God hath done in our lives. A baby, Anna Joy, born on Christmas Day 1992! After I lost Merry in August I was sad and wondered what God had for us. We continued to trust and by April I was again carrying a little girl. We were very careful-I ate well, took my vitamins and didn't travel in the car much. My weight and blood pressure stayed good the entire pregnancy.

Christmas was on a Friday and the Tuesday before it Doug and I went to the hospital in the middle of the night-I thought I was in labour. I was not and was sent home. My doctor was leaving on vacation the day after Christmas-but God knew all of this and had everything in His control. By His grace we were able to do everything-we decorated the house, baked cookies, made fruitcake, shopped, wrapped all the gifts and had a nice turkey dinner all ready. Christmas morning I thought, " Today will be the day"! We had our time of presents (Nat and Christy were with us). then we had a good breakfast- a rest followed and then supper at 5. Kristin joined us for supper, I did not eat because I thought I might deliver soon. Doug read aloud the story of the Missionary Barrel.

I started serious contractions at about 6p.m.- said "goodbye" to everyone and Doug and I left for the hospital about 7. The nurse examined me about 7:45. 3 centimeters dilated (not much, I thought). There was bleeding and that worried me. Contractions were average-checked again at 8:30-8 centimeters. Doctor summoned( he was attending a party just a mile or so away)-room readied.

They told me to push, but I had no urge to push-Suddenly everything seemed critical. I heard Dr.Waran say, "I don't like the way the heartbeat looks on the monitor". The nurse then leaned on my upper abdomen and cried, "PUSH"

God truly intervened for I never thought I could push. All at once there she was-not crying though. she had swallowed blood-soon got her going but she was in the isolet and I couldn't see her for 2 hours.Then she was brought to me all warm and beautiful-Anna Joy-born on Christmas Day, 1992. 9:10p.m.

Doug stayed all night. He had the children come over to the hospital about 10:30. Nat and Christy were there too. So wonderful. I wonder what I looked like.

The next morning, Saturday, Dr. Waran came in and told me that 10 more minutes and we would have had a dead baby! The placenta had separated too early-it came with the baby.

Thank you Lord for your mercy.

Now Anna is at Bible college studying music education.

She has been a great blessing to us all these 19 years.

Love you, Anna Joy.

Alex, Lena, Joe, Christy, Nat, me, Anna and Doug

If My People

2011-11-13T20:04:00.000-05:00

Veterans Day 11/11/'11

2011-11-12T15:02:00.004-05:00

An old poster I found among Dad's belongings.

Sutter Living Center has five men now--Curly, Carl, Dad, Art and Bob. All could remember their time in the war.

Curly, Art and dad..most of our remaining WW2 veterans look just like this--old and in wheelchairs. They felt honored and appreciated during this presentation.

Art was so cute when he was getting ready for the event--he was told to go comb his hair in his room and when he came out his hair WAS combed-but he had his bathrobe on!!!! So, back in he went and with a little help he was all ready and on time, too. You can tell by looking at his picture that he is very sweet. He and his wife have been married for 70 years!!! They lived in Manistee and were also sailors-and had a boat just like mom and dad.

Bob was in the army and helped liberate two concentration camps.

They did a very nice power point presentation this year.

Actually, dad was getting ready to cry as this picture was being taken--Bob was sitting at our table and dad began to think of his brother, Bob. He asked me if Bob Probeck was also present.

My father-in-law, Richard Truitt.

Mom and Dad still holding hands and needing each other.

And would a trip in Michigan during hunting season be complete without a scene like this one that we passed on our way home!!

11/11/'11 It's been ten years -- Paul, we miss you and we love you.

2011-11-09T18:44:00.000-05:00

Remember ME

To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated.
To the happy, I am at peace.
To the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot speak, but I can listen.
I cannot be seen but I can be heard.
So as you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty,
Remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, and your memories.
Of the times we cried, the times we fought, and the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.

MUSINGS

2011-11-04T14:57:00.000-04:00

I stopped at the perfume counter in Macy’s the other day while in Traverse City. I had been reading an article saying that every woman has a “signature fragrance” and I was wondering what mine might be.

In the 60’s and early 70’s I loved patchouli ( the hippie fragrance).

Occasionally someone passes me by wearing patchouli and my thoughts wander back to the days of wearing my favorite army jacket (purchased at the army surplus store), unfiltered cigarettes, listening to Bob Dylan on the stereo and idealistic dreams of a better world.

Like the “Occupy” people in the news today we were driven by vision more than wisdom - exuberance more than experience and hope that a better world can come from the hand and mind of man; little realizing that it can only come from God.

Idealism was quietly hidden away and replaced with responsibility as I married and we raised a big family. Two daughters brought hair spray and perfume into my life for the first time. I thought a daily shower and good soap was all the fragrance I needed. There probably was one fragrance that defined me. Having had a bad neck all my adult life I guess the one fragrance that really said, “ME” was Tiger’s Balm, but is that the fragrance I really want to be remembered by??

That thought is what took me to Macy’s last week-I was truly a stranger in a strange land at the perfume counter. A young woman came over to help me and we sprayed little pieces of white cardboard with different perfumes--I just knew I was going to get a headache as all the smells began to blend into one another--I had sprayed some on my wrists (when the salesgirl wasn’t looking) and on my arms and now I was feeling rather sick.

I left without a purchase- actually, I felt like running out of the store but controlled myself and walked slowly as if I were still contemplating buying something. Where was Anna or Lena when I really needed them--how did I ever go into the perfume section all alone!

At home I thought about fragrance some more and remembered that God has something to say about the subject. There is a fragrance He desires for us.

2 Corinthians 2:14-16
King James Version (KJV)
14Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour (sweet aroma) of his knowledge by us in every place.
15For we are unto God a sweet savour(fragrance) of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish:
16To the one we are the savour(aroma) of death unto death; and to the other the savour(aroma) of life unto life.

May we put on the sweet fragrance of Christ that draws all people to Him--I did not know where true freedom lay back in the 60’s and 70’s-now I know--In Christ is found new life and that better world that we all seek.

Matthew 11:27-29
King James Version (KJV)
28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
John 3:15-17
King James Version (KJV)
15That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

THE WIGWAM

2011-10-25T11:32:00.003-04:00

Nancy's Visit

2011-10-23T17:15:00.000-04:00

Nancy arrived in Manistee on Friday afternoon..the plane trip had been wonderful.

Saturday we prepared for a full day in Ludington. Arrived at SLC as dad was walking (with help) from his room--he saw us coming towards him and said, "Nancy!" and then he cried. He was so happy to see his daughter. He did tell her that she looked different--oh well, he remembers us all from a happier, younger time.

He just held on to her hand and talked to her and loved being with her. He told her he was ready to get away from all these old people!!!!

Dad even was able to take this picture of Nancy and me with my digital camera--he had never used one before -- did a pretty good job!

Mom had been lying on her bed when we came in the morning -- but we finally roused her and got her something to eat. She was not her best Saturday but I do think she gradually realized that someone special was visiting.

She tried to rally.

We love her.

Halloween time

This is Flo and one of her sons. Flo is a special lady who always tries to communicate. I am glad that Flo can still walk. She and mom seem to get along most of the time.

After our morning visit we headed out to the beach to take a long walk. Fishermen lined the pier. We stopped to ask what they were catching and one of the fishermen showed us a BIG steelhead that he had. Nancy asked if they let the fish go after they were caught--he said they did--right into the frying pan!

Over to the ferry

When we returned in the afternoon mom and dad had been to the hair dresser who comes to Sutter. Doesn't mom look good with her new haircut?

It was rather sad because mom was ornery in the afternoon so Nancy did not really get to hug or kiss her much. It was a tearful farewell.

Laurie and Don visit us in Michigan

2011-10-18T12:17:00.003-04:00

LAURIE AND DAD--HE KNEW LAURIE RIGHT AWAY

MOM LOVED TALKING WITH DON

LAURIE BROUGHT SOME COOKIES

DAD REALLY ENJOYED THE COOKIES AND SO DID BOB WHO CAME OVER AND JOINED "OUR PARTY" WHICH HE SAID WAS BETTER THAN THE PARTY HE HAD BEEN IN!!

LAURIE WAS SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO SEE HER AUNT BARBARA AGAIN

MOM WAS PERPLEXED ABOUT THE COOKIES BUT SHE REALLY LOVED PLAYING WITH THE BAG!!!

SEE, THE BAG WAS LOTS OF FUN FOR HER

THEN WE WENT TO THE HOUSE OF FLAVORS -- THIS IS THE APPLE CRISP LAURIE ORDERED AND SHE ATE MOST OF IT !! WE ALL HELPED A LITTLE AND IT WAS DELICIOUS!

WHIPPED CREAM, ANYONE???

A SHORT TOUR OF LUDINGTON

THE FERRY

A MIGHTY WIND AND LARGE WAVES

WE ALSO TOOK A NICE WALK ABOUT RED PARK WHEN WE GOT HOME -- THE WIGWAM WAS ALL CLOSED UP FOR THE WINTER BUT WE WENT IN AND LOOKED AT ALL THE PHOTOGRAPHS ON THE WALLS AND ADMIRED THE FIREPLACE AND REMEMBERED SUMMER DAYS FROM SO LONG AGO.

FRAN WALLACE CAME BY AND INVITED US TO COME OVER TO CAMP TOSEBO AND LOOK AT SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAD BEEN DONE INSIDE. THIS YEAR WILL BE THE CAMP'S 100TH ANNIVERSARY!

LAURIE AND FRAN'S HUSBAND, DAVE, WERE IN THE SAME HIGH SCHOOL CLASS AND , OF COURSE, HAD NOT SEEN ONE ANOTHER FOR OVER 40 YEARS..

THE WEATHER CO-OPERATED AND WE HAD A LOVELY WEEKEND

A Morning Walk

2011-10-11T10:35:00.000-04:00

Tacy and I like to walk in the early morning. We walk east watching the rising of the sun. It always brings this song from the Scriptures to mind, "Keep your eyes upon the Eastern sky-lift up your head-redemption draweth nigh." Jesus is coming soon.

He will break through the clouds on that glorious day and all those who are His will meet Him in the sky. Redemption draweth nigh!

Tacy keeps busy finding her daily stick to bring home and play with.

CHOICES, CHOICES

THE EASTERN SKY

THIS ONE LOOKS GOOD

Fun in Indiana

2011-10-10T15:36:00.000-04:00

Lena, Samuel and I spent a few days in Shipshewana, Indiana, at the flea market this past week. While we were away Doug visited with mom and dad at Sutter Living Center. Dad wanted to know how Doug got away without me!!! Guess they had a nice visit. Dad is still not walking and is just weak. Laurie and Don are planning to visit them this coming weekend. Then Nancy is coming the following weekend to see them and to spend some sister time with me. I am really looking forward to these visits.

Samuel, of course!

Liz and the children came over to see the baby and we had so much fun together.

The Essanhaus Inn--our favorite place to stay.

Lena, the happiest of mothers.

Sea Legs

2011-09-28T19:04:00.000-04:00

Dad clearly needs to get his sea legs working again

He is feeling just a bit under the weather as his legs have given out on him and he has had a fall--nothing serious, but he is in a wheelchair for the time being. He is a good sport about it but he just can't figure out how to make the thing go with his feet like the other folks do. Hopefully, he will be out of it soon and walking better. Come on, Dad, you can do it.

Mom is happy and looking pretty today!! She just loves my purse and always wants to see what is inside of it. She will open my wallet and her eyes get oh, so, big when she spies the dollar bills.
Sure would like to take her shopping again--but, I'm afraid that those days are over.

A Long Love Story

2011-09-14T20:21:00.001-04:00

GEORGE AND HENRY

2011-09-11T16:56:00.000-04:00

FRANKFORT

WE WALKED ALL THE WAY TO THE LIGHTHOUSE

THE WATER WAS STILL COLD

MY KIND OF MAN!!

Al and Kristin's visit with Samuel at 1 day old

2011-09-11T16:36:00.001-04:00

Anna with her oldest nephew and her youngest nephew.

Aunt Anna

Abby and Samuel

Does Alex look like he wants one for himself?

A new baby creates happiness and dispels sadness.

WOW! WHEN DID REBECCA GROW ALL THAT HAIR.

BIG BROTHER, ALEXANDER

Lena's visit at Sutter Living Center

2011-09-06T08:44:00.000-04:00

Lena said that mom was rather fussy during this visit and was giving Adam the "evil eye" but that she was all sweetness with Samuel. A mother's heart.

September Days

2011-09-05T18:14:00.000-04:00

We all love to watch "Lucy"

I must say the shows are funny no matter how many times we watch them.

Dad is always happy to have visitors and thanks to everyone that visited this summer!

I had my 63rd birthday and our grandson, George, had his 7th on September 4th.

Lena, Adam and Samuel (one month old) visited mom and dad from LaGrange and then came for my birthday. The baby is very good and sleeps all through the night!!!

Lena is a great mom

Flowers that Adam chose for me..he is a special son-in-law.

Anna came home from college to celebrate my birthday and to see her newest nephew!! It was wonderful to have her back home -- even if it was only for a day.

Christy's visit at Sutter with George and Henry

2011-08-30T12:23:00.000-04:00

Henry was trying to "share" his candy--we all know how Mom loves candy.

The boys had so much fun in Michigan this summer. Red Park was full of children so they were busy every minute with swimming, tennis, eating and all the fun things to do in the summer in Michigan.

Dad was not looking too lively--but Mom was certainly enjoying herself!! What a trooper.

Mom is in the last stages of Alzheimer's and yet she can still enjoy many of the things life has to offer. This day she had her granddaughter-in-law, Christy and two of her great grandsons, George and Henry, visiting and she was happy. We love you, Mom. So glad you are still here with us. You don't know that your younger sister, Marilyn, died last month and you don't have to know. I wish you could understand how much we all love you still. Michigan and the cottage are much of what they are because of you. Your love of the place still fills every corner.

George is really being a good sport here. Wonder what he is thinking about.

I could not be with Christy for much of the time she was here because I was in LaGrange with Lena.

SHE WAS VERY BUSY HAVING A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY-SAMUEL DOUGLAS MEADE.

While I was there I spent some time walking downtown remembering the fun days of growing up in the 50's and 60's.I went by the old houses of my youth and drove by old friends houses. The high school looks good where Mom and her sisters and all of us attended. Wish we could take mom and dad back for one final journey down "memory lane"-- they have their own kind of "memory lane"- it's simple, it comes and then it fades- but there is comfort and a measure of happiness because of all the enjoyable times they shared.

Ed and Barbara Probeck are a real love story.

I don't think dad will ever forget the Wigwam

2011-07-08T19:22:00.000-04:00

Dad spent some time with Mary Jo (the social worker) at Sutter Living Center the other day tellling her about the cottage at Red Park and drawing her directions to get there. Everything was correct including the address and telephone number. His love for the cottage where he spent many happy summers as a boy with his grandmother and brother-- then as a married man with his wife and children-and later just he and mom has never diminished. Perhaps in the quiet of his mind he is often once again sailing and playing tennis at his beloved summer home.

Dad loved the boat he and mom had in the 70's and early 80's.

The Wigwam

Many happy memories by the fire--mom and dad spent their honeymoon right here. It was April 1st, cold and the water was not turned on. Dad carried water from the artesian well out back but they were where they wanted to be.
I wish we could bring you back for a visit, Dad.
Maybe we will............

Sarah's Visit

2011-07-05T16:09:00.000-04:00

Sarah brought her dog, Sam

Everybody really liked him--he should be a nursing home dog.

Dad knew Sarah right away when he saw her!!!!

We visited in the dining room and Dad had a non alcoholic beer

Mom had such a good time and was so happy that she was using many good sentences and responding correctly to questions---Yea, Mom!!!

Still a mom

2011-06-01T13:24:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to a new hair stylist -- I had been upset about my hair and wanted a new cut..In fact I was feeling quite down about the whole thing. I was heading over to Sutter to see mom and dad afterwards and found them sitting, as usual, on the love seat in front of the television. They were glad to see me and asked me to sit down. Mom must have sensed from somewhere deep down inside herself that I needed her for just a few moments to be herself again. I said,"Well, I just got a new haircut--what do you think?"
Mom looked at me and smiled,"Oh, I like it." She gently touched my hair and made a few comments. Real SENTENCES!! I was very moved that she still could "be there" even if for just a few moments.
We had a good visit and I left feeling so much better and isn't that what a mother is best at--making others feel better.
Thanks Mom--I love you.

Sailing

2011-05-17T22:08:00.000-04:00

Sailing was always such a big part of Dad's life. As a young man he sailed a wooden snipe with his brother, Bob, on Portage Lake in the summer. When we were young dad always had a snipe in the garage that he would work on in the winter--sanding, varnishing and getting it ready for the summer races. He would race out of Burnham Harbor in Chicago and also on Portage Lake. We did the sailing races circuit, too. Dad had 3 crews --John was for a heavy wind day, I was for a moderate wind day and Nancy was the light wind crew. In later years he also had Sarah and Bill crew for him. The competition was lots of fun and we got to meet many interesting people.
The Snipe had been a very popular boat but interest in it was waning..On Portage the small Sunfish became the sailboat to have and dad did his share of racing in the Sunfish races. In fact he still will ask if the Sunfish is all put away for the winter or sometimes he asks if it is safely buoyed on the lake.
Finally, mom and dad bought the big two masted boat seen in these photos. Even though mom was not a sailor, she bravely crewed with dad all over Lake Michigan. They would take their beloved dog, Lady, with them--Lady proved to be very sea worthy. Dad misses his life on the water. I wish we could go out once again with him. Dad at the helm with the wind caressing his face--I think he is often on the water these days in his mind. He will ask me sometimes when his walk is unsteady if we are on the boat. The best of memories, aren't they, Dad?

Mother's Day at Sutter Living Center

2011-05-08T20:38:00.000-04:00

It was a bittersweet day.

Lena and Adam surprised me and met us in Ludington.

It was so special to spend the afternoon with them.

Mom was happy while we were there and then was very tired and had to go to bed.

Happy Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-07T14:50:00.002-04:00

John, Nancy, Sarah, Mom, Bill and Susan

A great mom and always there for her children and grandchildren.

WE LOVE YOU, MOM

.......................................................................

Two Mothers

(anonymous)

I had two mothers...

Two mothers I claim

Two different people

Yet with the same name.

Two separate women

Diverse by design

But I loved them both

Because they were both mine.

The first was the mother

Who carried me here

Gave birth and nurtured

And launched my career.

She was the one

Whose features I bear

Complete with the facial

Expression I wear.

She gave me some music

Which follows me yet

Along with examples

In life that she set.

Then as I got older

She some younger grew

And we'd laugh as just mothers

And daughters do.

But then came the year

that her mind clouded so

And I sensed that the mother

I'd known would soon go.

So quickly she changed

And turned into the other

A stranger who dressed

In the clothes of my mother.

Oh, she looked the same

At least at arm's length

But she was the child now

And I was her strength.

We'd come full circle

We women three

My mother the first

The second and me.

And if my own children

Should come to a day

When a new mother comes

And the old goes away.

I'd ask of them nothing

that I didn't do.

Love both of your mothers

As both have loved you.

Just like our Dad

2011-05-06T22:17:00.000-04:00

A Long Road Home

2011-05-03T19:46:00.002-04:00

Dad on the beach--this poem could have been written by him

What do you see nurses? .......What do you see?

What are you thinking......when you're looking at me?

A crabby old man, ....not very wise,

Uncertain of habit ........with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food.......and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice....."I do wish you'd try!"

Who seems not to notice ....the things that you do.

And forever is losing .............. A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding ...... The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am ....... As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, .....as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of Ten......with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters ......who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen ...........with wings on his feet

Dreaming that soon now. .........a lover he'll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty .........my heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows........that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now .......... I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide ...... And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty ......... My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other ......... With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young ones ........have grown and are gone,

But my woman's beside me........to see ! I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more, ......... Babies play 'round my knee,

Again, we know children ....... My loved one and me.

I'm now an old man.........and nature is cruel.

'Tis jest to make old age .......look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles..........grace and vigor, depart.

There is now a stone........where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass ...... A young guy still dwells,

This was written by a man with Alzheimer's in a nursing home and found upon his death.

< P

The family God has blessed us with

2011-04-30T13:44:00.000-04:00

Easter Sundays and my testimony of how God brought me from darkness to light on Easter Sunday 1980

2011-04-24T22:10:00.067-04:00

1962-I was 14 and trying to look like Jackie Kennedy
My cousin, Laurie and me about 1958

See mom standing in the doorway with her fox around her shoulders?

Nancy, Sarah, Bill and myself

Holidays were a special part of growing up for our family. We had grandparents who lived in the same town and lots of cousins. We all went to the Episcopal church, some of us even sang in the choir. The first 12 years of my life were all that one thinks of when you talk of growing up in the 50's. The moms were homemakers and in our part of the world the dads wore suits and went to work in Chicago on the train.

We would go to meet dad often as he was coming home-mom with her crew in tow would wait at the train and I remember thinking all the dads looked alike but mine was special--so young and handsome.

I was 12 years old the year I wanted to understand why we went to church--I began to read the Book of Common Prayer and wanted to read the Bible. I decided to ask Father Tilden just how to go about doing that. One day I mustered up all my nerve and went to his office

to talk with him. He was a big man who was a bit intimidating. Well, he told me that day that I could read the Bible if I wanted to but that the Old Testament was just a collection of fairy tales.

This was really the beginning of a slide away from God instead of a drawing unto Him. If the Bible were not completely true then how could we trust our lives to the God of the Bible.

This very summer of talking with the minister I was often crewing in sailboat races with a young man who was about 20 years old and a beatnik. These were pre hippie days. He did not believe in God at all and he would talk and talk while we were sailing filling my young mind with his view of the world.

And impressed I was. As I considered all he said I decided that he was right and that there was no God. I know I made my parents upset because I then did not want to go to church or pray at the dinner table--after all, we non-conformists must remain true to our beliefs.

Tom (the sailor) had introduced me to protest folk music-Joan Baez, Leadbelly-and I loved it. It struck a cord within me..a sad and distant cord.

I was different than most of the kids in high school and I often tried to proselytize others about there being no God. I began to be interested in philosophy and that became my minor in college along with a major in English.

One summer during this time I was walking in the woods here in Onekama where we have a cottage and I noticed some carving on a tree up ahead of me. What I read on that tree never left my mind until the day I came to Christ in full surrender, "the way of the transgressor is hard."

I did not know it was from the Bible but the word of God is alive and active and sharper than any two edged sword. It pierced my heart--and I didn't even know why.

In philosophy class I met my husband to be, Doug. His ideas were similar to mine and we could talk for hours - we fell in love and married in the summer of 1969. Mom insisted on a church wedding even though I very much did not want one. I suppose my wedding was not much fun for my mother or the rest of my family.
Our first son was born prematurely and only lived for a day. The law was that if a child lived for more than a hour he had to have a burial, so while I remained in the hospital Doug took our first born son wrapped in a blanket - put him on the seat next to him in the truck and headed out to the funeral home for a casket. We had no relatives nearby and no friends. We had just moved to Arkansas from Illinois--we were all alone.

Even though we did not even acknowledge the existence of God, He was merciful and within the next 8 years we had 4 children. Three boys and a girl.

Satan had been after me for most of my life--there were so many times when I could have died (and death without Christ is eternity in hell)because of foolish things I was doing-like riding on motorcycles to Chicago w/o my parents knowledge, driving recklessly and generally just being stupid.

During my teen years I spent many hours wondering about and wanting to know why I was here--what did my life mean. What did anything mean.

Satan was always at my heels but Jesus was keeping me for Himself. The summer I was 27 I took the 2 boys and drove to the cottage from Arkansas-Doug had to work and I wanted to be in a happy place. One night when the boys were asleep I walked into the kitchen to get something to eat-suddenly my eyes were riveted on the large sharp knife sitting on the counter. I felt a presence pushing me to take the knife and to go upstairs and take my sons lifes and then to take my own.This is how Satan works-he hits us in our weak areas. Mine was my love for my children. I have experienced the power of darkness and it is real--but God is greater and has overcome the world.

I stood there for what seemed like eternity resisting this profound presence of evil. For the next week I could hardly go into the kitchen and see that knife--but I know now that the Holy Spirit protected me from the one who wants to destroy. God is so good. He will save all who call upon His name.

In 1979 we were living in Missouri with our 4 children. I had to drive a particular route once a week that took me past a huge billboard that had these words on it-" for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

The living word of God began to break down all my barriers and even though I was never once witnessed to by any Christian--Jesus did all the witnessing and He drew me with His cords of love. Doug came to salvation in January of 1980 and I was gloriously saved on Easter Sunday 1980 when I was 31 years old. I have now been saved for 31 years.

The way of the transgressor had indeed been hard, but God looked into the heart of a young girl who was searching for the truth and He showed her the way --"come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Easter sunday 2011

2011-04-24T21:51:00.009-04:00

Happy Easter from Sutter Living Center

the residents make the decorations

Some of the children and young adults from our church, Bible Believer's Baptist Church, put on a music program.

A Busy Weekend

2011-04-04T10:37:00.008-04:00

First we stopped to wish mom and dad a happy 67th anniversary Dad was a little tired Friday morning but he knew that it was their anniversary She is still pretty

We then went into LaGrange to see Lena and Adam. Saturday morning was Lena's midwife appointment in Geneva. So after that we decided to head over to Little Traveler. Little Traveler is a shopping place all in an extended old house with little shops of all kinds and restaraunts. We all remember many many fun times there with mom as it was one of her favorite places to go. Wish you could have been with us, Mom!!

This is the old hospital in Geneva where Doug was born. It has been added on to and is now little upscale shops.

On Sunday we all got together in Valparaiso, Indiana. Alex was in from Montana for a wedding with his family. We were able to all meet and get a family picture. This is our oldest grandchild, Steve.

Youngest grandchild, Joshua. He loves to eat!!!

Joe and Zach

All of us.

Doug and me with all the grandchildren and one more is on the way.

Alex and Anna

Anna and Steve--is he really taller than she is???

Lena and Rebecca

Dad's hand surgery

2011-02-28T17:14:00.003-05:00

Dad had a swelling on the palm of his left hand right beneath his ring finger. It was getting larger so it was decided that he needed surgery to see what it was. The surgery went well and it was nothing serious--just opened it and drained it. Somehow the surgery caused him to be more confused and he even became incontinent for a few days (not even caring). The doctor decided that it was caused from the drugs used during the surgery and that he would return to normal. This he did. He is his old self once again--A little nervous, like a young child, about having the stitches removed.."It is going to hurt--I just know it will hurt" he kept saying as the nurse prepared to cut the stitches and remove them. After it was all over he said,"Well, at least I didn't faint!" He was a real trooper.

There was a group of people there the day dad and I went to have his stitches removed playing recorders. I had never seen such large recorders. The sound was lovely.

A visit after the snowstorm

2011-02-05T08:30:00.008-05:00

We are on our way to Sutter Living Center

Our friends Nathan, Samuel and Janelle Reed came along with Anna and me.

They played checkers with dad.

Janelle had to endure a few kisses from dad.

Mom was really a happy lady and she looks so pretty. She has gotten some new clothes as the old ones were getting a bit snug!!

Mom is happy nearly all the time now--there is a new male resident, Bob. He is lots of fun and teases mom which makes her laugh. Bob told me he hates "this place" and is getting out SOON.

I suppose this is how all the men react to their loss of freedom. I will have to get a photo of him for my next post.

Winter 2011

2011-01-29T19:14:00.011-05:00

Well, it is winter in Michigan. Mom and Dad are warm

and cozy

at Sutter Living Center.

I thought I'd go over to Red Park today

and check up on our cottage, the Wigwam.

Dad is always so concerned that it is being

properly taken care of.

A bit of snow on the roof

on the deck

I don't think too much mail is being delivered.

Dad and mom met here in Michigan when they were just teenagers. This is the cottage were Dad and his brother spent summers with their grandmother. Their sister,MaryLou, was 8 years younger than dad, but I'm sure she became a big part of the summer fun.

No sitting and looking out at the lake for quite some time.

There are ice fishing shanties out on the lake now--if you look real hard you may be able to see some of them. We have never gone ice fishing but we have shoveled snow off of the lake here and done some ice skating!

January 26, 2011

2011-01-27T09:24:00.007-05:00

We had a fun time of singing with these two men for over an hour. I noticed that a few of the women who never seem to talk or show facial expression were smiling and singing all of the songs. Mom, of course, sang along clapping and laughing.

Everyone loved the baby.

Mom has been happy-waving and blowing kisses. I hope this phase lasts for her.

Dad is more content. He told Doug the other day that he did not HAVE to stay at Sutter but that he had decided to stay in order to help mom.

Also, the staff have told me that he has indicated that he and mom have decided to stay.

He was looking at her with such love and compassion when we were there that I was proud he was my father.

He loves her.

Somehow he understands now that she is sick and that she needs him.

His love has endured dementia-hers and his.

God loves us.

He will never leave us nor forsake us.

His compassion fails not.
His mercy endureth forever.

It is the love we all need.

Jesus dying on the cross

put there by His great love for us.

It is winter in Michigan. My favorite time of year.

Who is that masked man?

2011-01-04T19:05:00.008-05:00

Last night I received a call from the nurse at Sutter Living Center saying that dad had fallen.

How did he fall?

He was giving mom a goodnight kiss and tripped at her bedside.

Deb said he had hit his nose and had a cut on the right eyebrow and that he may get a "shiner".

Well, I was not expecting anything like this.

We still kept our appointment at the foot doctor's and dad was such a good sport that he still wanted to go to MacDonald's for a hamburger and milkshake.
We made quite the scene. Mom wouldn't take her hat off and then she started waving at the children sitting nearby. She motioned to them to come over and received a vigorous shake of the head as an answer. Well, can you blame them for not stopping by our table?
Then mom had to go "potty". She is afraid of the toilet these days, you know the HOLE and the water! Praise God we made it --got in and we got back out and then we were able to go home.
Dad still wanted to hold the doors for me and mom and he told me I looked pretty.
A true gentlman.
Hope you feel better soon, Dad.
And thanks for still wanting to give mom a kiss goodnight.
By the way, dad's black eyes really brought out the tenderness and concern in mom.
She was so sweet -"My husband has hurt himself".
She was once again his loving wife today.
As Pa Ingalls would say,"There is no loss without some gain, Caroline"

When I was a young man

2011-01-01T11:56:00.008-05:00

This song reminds me of my father.

He does not have any short term memory and he does not understand where he is or why he is there but his dementia is not like mom's.

She is travelling deeper and deeper into the Alzheimer's Disease. One day she will have progressed in the disease to the place where she can no longer stay at Sutter Living Center but will have to go over to the regular nursing home area.

What will Dad do then? He will not understand.

I love him so much these days.

He always smiles and is so happy to see me when I visit and he takes my hand and we walk the hallways talking about Louisville and the old house on Primrose. "Have I picked up his mail there while he has been away."

He wonders if the cottage is all secure and his boats looked after.

How were his parents when I last saw them and his brother, Bob and sister, MaryLou.

His sentences are always perfect and his vocabulary usage undiminished.

But where are you, Dad? I miss you. I miss Mom. You don't call me anymore on the phone and at Christmas you are not there. You always loved Christmas. I remember you putting the bike together in the workroom of the basement in LaGrange that you had gotten for Bill one Christmas. You let me watch and we talked about how excited Bill would be.

You may even remember the year you got Nancy and me those wonderful electric typewriters!

You enjoyed Christmas this year. You had mom with you and you held her hand and told her how pretty she looked. She stuck out her tongue and waggled it at you while making a face.

What do you suppose she thinks about?

But she knows me and she seemed to recognize Alex and his family when they visited after Christmas. Alex said,"This is Stephen, do you remember him?"

Her wonderful answer was," Of course, I would never forget him." It was a miracle sentence.

Social situations bring out the best in her.

Love you Mom

Christmas party at Sutter Living Center

2010-12-22T17:21:00.011-05:00

He sang many Christmas songs and also a few polkas!

Dad is shrinking

Mom had on some Christmas socks

Shirley and Barbara

2010-11-29T19:59:00.005-05:00

I went to visit mom and dad today.

Mom had had a bad weekend as she had wandered into a neighbor lady's room where she was met with anger at the intrusion.

Mom was pushed.

Mom is a real people person and has always had so many friends and not any enemies.

Now in her dementia there is someone who does not like her.

It is confusing to her and she of course does not understand.

Dad is no help other than being there to hold her hand and ask her when they are going to get out "of this place".

Mom does not have many pictures that she keeps up on her bulletin board-but the one of her sister Shirley is still there.

They have the Christmas tree up and dad was remarking about how tall it was. I said, "Well, not like the one at Marshall Field and Co.".

Mom eyes really sparkled as she thought of her "favorite" store.

"No way," she said.

And she did remember the Walnut Room and the mushroom soup!!!

Love you Mom

shopping

2010-11-26T21:13:00.004-05:00

Today Doug drove Anna and myself into Traverse City for the Black Friday sales. It was the first time I had ever gone and it was quite an experience. We found a few things that we could use and stood in long lines in order to purchase them. We saw a few friends while out. There was a bit of snow which made it nice.

A very long time ago mother and I and my sister, Nancy, would get on the Burlington train in our suburb of Chicago and ride to Marshall Field's where we would shop all day and eat in the restaurant under the Christmas tree that was many stories high.

It was a wonderland for us. We would ride the escalators up and down. Just looking at all the people was breathtaking. Listening to them talk to each other and the different kinds of clothes they all wore opened up a different world to us.

I can still remember the toy section--we never had many toys at home, after all it was the late 1950's and I had no idea that such a variety existed.

Lunch in the tea room was so fancy. Some years we would go with our cousins and Aunt Shirley, Mom's sister. Those were special times that I will hopefully never forget.

Every year we would make the trip to Marshall Field's. Even after I was married with my own children we would go-now just Mom and myself for a day of shopping and lunch in the tea room.

Mom was always so much fun and loved to go to her favorite store-Marshall Field's.

I worked there myself the year before I was married in 1969. I wasn't there during Christmas so I didn't get to see how the tree was all arranged.

As my own children married Doug and I would sometimes travel to Chicago to go with them to view the windows of Marshall Field's in all their Christmas glory and to walk through the store just to see what might be there.

The store changed and it was never as it had been in those wonderful days of shopping with mom--but even now if I mention Marshall Field's mom will brighten up and remember some of the good times there.

Those were the good old days of shopping--sales ladies wanting to help you--packages nicely wrapped--the bus to catch in the snow and hurrying to get to Union Station in time to make the train home.

What glorious memories, may they never fade.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T20:53:00.004-05:00

Today was Thanksgiving Day.

Doug, Anna and I had a great meal at Crystal Mountain Resort .

We have always had friends and relatives for Thanksgiving, but this year was different and we learned a good lesson.

It's not the food that matters it is family and fellowship.

However, because of our situation this year we were able to go and spend the afternoon with mom and dad in Ludington.

They were sitting together as usual, well dressed and nicely groomed.

Their faces brightened as they saw us enter and dad quickly stood up, as a gentleman should, to greet us.

He asked how our Thanksgiving had been and occasionally thought today had been Christmas.

But he did know that today was a special day.

I am so glad that we went.

I am thankful for my parents.

I love to see their faces and to laugh with them about nothing.

Today mom wanted to sing:

"Someone's in the kitchen with Dina, someone's in the kitchen I know, ow,ow ow.

Someone's in the kitchen with Dina strumming on the old banjo."

We laughed and sang all that we knew of it.

Dad told me that mom was goofy now and I told him that he had to take care of her and commended him for being so patient. He seemed to accept that.

He then told me to be sure to get the boat out on the buoy securely and to keep the cottage warm enough.

I assured him that I would.

He held my hand all the time we were there.

I love you mom and dad

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Shirley and Barbara - sisters and best friends

2010-11-19T15:45:00.004-05:00

Aunt Shirley, mom's older sister, died yesterday.

She was 89 years old.

Mom depended on her big sister for advice and comfort all through their long lives.

Mom will not be able to mourn for her sister.

But she has happy memories still.

She knows her sister when she sees her in a photograph.

We will all miss Shirley Lake.

She had a long and happy life filled with a good husband, 4 children and lots of grandchildren and great grandchildren.

I will post more photos of mom and her sister later.

A Good Visit

2010-11-19T14:19:00.004-05:00

We were having a good visit at SLC last week. Mom, who had been sick, was well and walking much better--steadier.

As we were sitting together on the sofa mom held her hands out in front of her and said,

"Aren't they pretty?"

I'm sure she did not mean to say that - she wanted to say something else but it did not come out right.

Dad looked at me as if to say,"Is she crazy?"

Then, as the loving husband that he still is, he said "yes" and gently caressed her cheek with his hand.

She had been fussing but took his hand in hers and once again they were a happy couple.

For the first time ever when I went to leave mom took my hand in a tight grasp and said,

" Stay here-don't leave!"

It was hard for me to go.

Veteran's Day 2010

2010-11-14T09:57:00.003-05:00

It was our second Veteran Day celebration at Sutter Living Center. Ten veterans were honored with a full display of colors, uniformed VFW personnel and a 5 gun salute.

Song sheets were handed out to everyone but they were not needed as each man there sang from memory, "America the Beautiful" and "God Bless America".

Nine of the men were WWII vets, one man fought in the Korean War. All but dad were in wheelchairs. Two were amputees and 4 had oxygen tanks attached to their wheelchairs. At least 2 had Alzheimer's and some could barely lift their heads--but all smiled and raised their hands as their names were called out.

It was a good day for America.

It was a proud moment for them as they have so little left.

We had coffee and cake afterwards and talked and laughed and the men told some stories as best they could.

Dad helped clear the tables and watched over mom as a good and faithful husband should and then we all went home.

It was a good day.

Dad wanted to walk on the beach

2010-09-28T16:34:00.005-04:00

O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good: for His mercy endureth forever.

September in Michigan

2010-09-28T16:34:00.004-04:00

Dad has always loved the beach and the other day when we were out driving he asked me to pull over.

When I found a good place to "look" at the water, he jumped out and headed down the beach.

Anna quickly went with him to help him down the rocky dune.

Just a boy again.

I wonder what he was thinking as he stood upon the shore with the wind in his face and sand in his shoes.

I wish we could go back in time to a day when we would all go home and love and laugh and talk about old sailing trips and races.

Well, I love you Dad.

Mom's 88th birthday

2010-08-06T14:23:00.006-04:00

our granddaughter, Natalie, was visiting with us

Mom's birthday bracelets-one from dad and one from Anna

Birthdays don't mean much to the Alzheimer person-there is no realization that it is a special day-but we did have a fun time. Mom loved opening her gifts and she was very happy knowing that something special was happening because of her.

Sarah is here

2010-06-27T10:44:00.007-04:00

first we went to the Synder's Shoe Store to get mom some new shoes
A few to choose from!

Dad is patiently waiting
Then over to House of Flavors for some ice cream

Look alikes!!!!!
She ate it all

We had such a fun day.

Mom remembered Sarah and she really had quite a few good sentences.

Taking mom and dad out is something I love to do-it is always an adventure!

PERRY COMO

2010-06-09T21:59:00.004-04:00

Perry Como was a favorite singer of my parents

THE PURPLE COW

2010-06-09T21:42:00.002-04:00

Mom still knows the purple cow poem that she learned as a child-I'm sure she also sang this song.

Joe and family at Sutter Living Center

2010-06-09T19:33:00.009-04:00

Dad still loves his wife and shows it every day
Lucy again-she never misses a chance to talk to visitors

Dad and Zachary

the new baby, Joshua

Mom, Liz, Natalie and baby Joshua

Zach, Bethany and Natalie holding her new brother

May 17th

2010-05-17T18:56:00.005-04:00

everyone is playing "memory" and doing quite well
Mom is feeling very happy these days

See how perky mom is? Dad is very tired today and needing a bigger belt as he now weighs 157 lbs!!!

The courtyard

Bea Leafstrand's 100th birthday party

2010-05-05T22:49:00.009-04:00

Bea's family
She was giving away $100 bills

A happy lady

The cake was very good!!!

Lucy is a real party animal

Bea even got out of her wheelchair for a picture with the cake

A fun visitor

entertainment

Doug always enjoys the ladies-this is Mikey (102)she is really fun to talk with

April 29th

2010-04-29T18:38:00.007-04:00

It is nice enough to be outside
Mom and her friend Doris

Doris is new at Sutter

Lucy is a really lovely lady

Dad is happy these days

Doesn't Mom look pretty?

Mikey is 102 years old!

Betty wanted to show off her sweatshirt

The dining room has been remodeled

A TRIP TO BURGER KING

2010-04-08T14:40:00.008-04:00

Dad really wanted to go "out" and get a hamburger-so we did.

Looks really good!

umm, the milkshake
see Mom's straw?

He carried it all by himself!!!

The whole time we were in Burger King the big screen t.v. was on playing Glen Beck on Fox News! This is the real America, folks! People in small towns all over the U.S. eating hamburgers and watching Fox News!!!

more of Dad's Birthday

2010-03-25T08:52:00.003-04:00

Do you like his cool sunglasses?

He got a little teary with the cards from all his children

Dad's 86th Birthday

2010-03-25T08:50:00.002-04:00

Waiting for the cake

Anna helped celebrate

March 6th 2010 Saturday morning

2010-03-06T19:48:00.011-05:00

Mom has a picture of Sarah hanging on her mirror
Her new Easter bunny

Her room is looking homey

Mom's favorite doll

She has her room decorated nicely now.

Out in the car--are we having fun yet?

A fun day- we also went to Big Boy and had breakfast.

Mom is happy these days and that is very good.

Dad never knows where he is when we return to Sutter Living Center. However, he always knows all his children.

His skin is all cleared up and he looks very handsome these days.

I remember how mom ached for Bonny Boyer when she had Alzheimer's and could not say the right words--now mom is like that, but she doesn't know that she is speaking gibberish.

She laughed a lot today and helped me pick out some house plants at Home Depot. She always visits with the people around us when we are out and everyone is always so nice.

Mom still brings joy to others

May we bring some joy to her

John Denver wrote this about his mother

2010-03-05T16:44:00.002-05:00

To my mother-Barbara Probeck-

you will always be a reminder of what love is.

Nat and Christy's Visit to the Nursing Home

2010-02-23T11:07:00.003-05:00

Hey everybody, this is Anna posting for my mom. This past weekend my oldest brother Nat, his wife Christy, and their five and two year old boys, George and Henry, came up to visit us and stopped at the nursing home to see Gramma and Grandpa.

If you go all the way down to the end there is a video that Nat took of Grandpa talking to Christy about his days in the Navy.

George and Henry in the cafeteria. They were unimpressed with the sausage and sauerkraut so the ladies who work in the cafeteria kindy made them PB&J sandwiches. :-)

A painting Grandpa did during craft time.

Gramma's painting

George with his great-grandparents

Nat and Grandpa. Pretty good looking guys, huh?

Our young astronaut. :-) They have this hair drier for the ladies out in the living room.

Family picture: Gramma, Nat, Henry, George, Christy, and Grandpa.

Christy and Gramma

A LONG WINTER

2010-01-29T16:46:00.001-05:00

Mom has just written this letter to her mother-when I was there visiting yesterday she was crying softly about how much she misses her. If you want to read it then just click on it and will be enlarged.

A New Year

2010-01-12T21:03:00.005-05:00

Christmas Time

2009-12-16T21:16:00.013-05:00

House of Flavors Restaurant in Ludington

Mom and Dad had a good time
Back to Sutter Living Center

Mom helped with the window decorations

A GOOD DAY

2009-11-29T15:26:00.004-05:00

Doug and I went to visit mom and dad on Friday. When we entered the building they were sitting at the table having a snack with their friends.

I was struck by how happy the faces were of the elderly men and women there.

Mom and dad recognized us right away, stood up and came over to us.

We went to their room where they offered us candy from the tin that Nancy had sent. Mom remembered that Nancy had sent it, too.

They wanted to go out so we drove along the lake and looked at all the BIG houses and discussed what it would be like to live in one of them.

Then we went into the health food store in Ludington-the store also has locally made knitted hats, mittens-there are silk scarves and unique baskets, jewerly and kitchen items.

We had a blast.

Dad kept saying to mom," Don't get carried away Barb, I don't think I have any money on me,"

and mom told him she was having fun and wouldn't buy much.

It was an hour that was almost like having them back as they once were-

Mom talked to a man with a little white dog who was waiting outside for his wife.

Then it was time to go home.

Dad did not recognize his room and wondered why they had clothes there.

Mom put on some new clothes that I had gotten her and she tried to put the sweater on her legs, as pants.

Once we got that all corrected she looked beautiful in her new sweater and we went out to the living room to watch t.v.

The other residents were very pleasant and wanted to know where mom had gotten her new sweater.

Mom is so kind to the other ladies and I am sure she is a real blessing there.

She acts as though she were at a sorority house-waving and smiling at the other residents!

As we left mom and dad were sitting together in the living room on the loveseat exclaiming over the beauty of the setting sun out the window. They can still see the beauty around them and be moved by it. Praise God for all His goodness.

VETERANS DAY

2009-11-11T19:09:00.015-05:00

Doug and I went to see Mom and Dad today and to enjoy the Veteran Day Celebration

I took Mom out to get her hair done in Ludington. Doesn't it look good?

The Program

Autumn in Michigan

2009-10-30T15:01:00.006-04:00

October 27th at Sutter Living Center

2009-10-28T14:47:00.017-04:00

The birds

Halloween decorations

A very nice lady

solitare anyone?

Dad helping with the decorations

Dad

THEN WE WENT ON AN OUTING TO LUDINGTON

The car ferry

Dad, me and Mom

Mom and Dad beside a lovely tree

Visiting Mom and Dad in August

2009-10-26T17:09:00.016-04:00

John, Mom, Nancy, Dad and me

Dad

Mom with the orchid that John and Susan got for her

John and Mom

Mom loves the orchid

Denny, Nancy and Mom in the dining room

Mom and Nacy in the beautiful kitchen at Sutter Living Center

Susan helping herself

Mom, Nancy,Dad and Denny

Susan, Mom and Nancy

Dad wearing his Portage Lake hat!
Mom's doll (isn't it life like?)

Safe

2009-08-19T16:53:00.004-04:00

John and Susan came for a visit and Mom and Dad knew them both right away!

Well, Mom and Dad are now at the brand new Sutter Living Center in Ludington, Michigan.

They have been there for a month, have made new friends and are adjusting very well.

Mom probably has the most advanced Alzheimer's of the 15 residents but she is happy and friendly.

We had Mom's 87th birthday there and the staff made her a beautiful cake!

Who Will Be First To Crack?

2009-06-14T18:25:00.012-04:00

We only have nine days until they go to the Alzheimers unit in Ludington. Things have been difficult the last week and Anna was wondering who would be the first to crack.

Ed-Who looks for his car a dozen times a day and now thinks that we have stolen it and taken the money for some nefarious purposes. He wanted to call the police, so we called the police in LaGrange who had a record of him calling a year ago reporting his car stolen; they investigated at that time and had in their records that he had sold his car to the car dealer and received a check for it. That pacified him for awhile-an hour!- and then he said he did not believe the police story.

Will he be the first? Or....

...Barbara- who wants to fix everything and make everything okay again but doesn't know how to put the pieces together.

Will it be her? Or...

..Doug-who spends endless hours trying to help them to understand when he needs to be working.

Will it be him? Or...

..Susan.

(the picture says it all!)

Will she be the first to crack? Or...

...Anna-the "evil" piano player whom they think just plays the piano to annoy them, even though she has made dozens and dozens of cookies for them which they consume like they were 200-pound-football players and answers their questions all day long.

Will it be her? Or.....

...Lucy-who will probably go into cardiac arrest from all the donuts, chocolate, and grapes that they have been feeding her.

Will she be the first to go? Or....

...AJ- who goes for walks with them down the road..they think he's a dog and call him "Lucy....here girl, good girl!"

HE's having an identity crisis. He'll be checked into therapy as soon as they leave.

Will he crack first? Or.....

...Tammi- who loves to sit in their room and whenever she's in there Mom and Dad yell "Get that dog out of here!" They've also called her a mouse and a fish.

She doesn't know who she is anymore.

So, will she be first?

There's one more candidate....

....Pat, the caregiver, who has spent many hours advising them on which colors to use on their fuzzy posters.

Who do you think will be the first to crack?

Will it be

Ed?

Barb?

Doug?

Susan?

Anna Joy?

Lucy?

AJ?

Tammi?

or Pat?

Be sure to vote! :)

Crossing the Bar

2009-05-21T19:34:00.002-04:00

Mom still remembers this poem, and I found it as a song on YouTube today.

A Change is Coming

2009-05-14T19:54:00.003-04:00

Well, Doug and I visited a new Alzheimer facility in Ludington, Mi. last week. It is still having the finishing touches applied and will be open June 22. Mom and Dad are on the list to get in. We are quite pleased with this place and think it is just what they need to be as happy as they can be and to finish out their days. Here is the link-http://oakviewmcf.org/content.aspx?Page=Sutter%20Living%20Center

Keep praying for them as they need to stay healthy and we need to help them to adjust when the time comes.

PILIATED WOODPECKER

2009-04-25T19:27:00.003-04:00

WE HAD MANY BIRDS AT THE FEEDER THIS WINTER--OUR FAVORITE IS THE PILIATED WOODPECKER

16

2009-04-25T19:08:00.008-04:00

MOM AT 16

ME AT 16

ANNA AT 16

conversations

2009-04-25T18:59:00.002-04:00

Today Mom and Dad and I went to the local bulk food store -- it was a rainy day with nothing much to do.
On the way home we passed a cemetery -- Mom said to me," Is your mother buried there?" I said, "No". She looked at me and I said,"You are my mother!"
"Oh, that's right, I keep forgetting that."
In another few minutes she said," Is your mother very old?"
I said,"Yes, she is very old!."

At the dinner table tonight we were talking and Dad asked about how old he was. When we told him he said he was in pretty good shape even if he was "mentally retarded" now.

We love you just the way you are, Dad. You are special to us.

WORKING AT THE FARM

2009-04-16T18:20:00.004-04:00

correction: the cows are Daisy and Raisin not Daisy and Blossom

funny-but, oh so real

2009-04-03T15:24:00.002-04:00

EGGS IN WATER GLASSES?????

2009-04-01T21:37:00.004-04:00

I just took the two ice trays out of the refrigerator and put them into the freezer-I find them often now in the wrong place. The other night I didn't know why Mom had the egg carton out - then I saw the water glasses on the table each with an egg in them! I think Mom thought the eggs were ice cubes.. The full milk pitcher was in the cabinet-I asked Mom "why" and she said she liked her milk cold.

Most of the time Mom is happy and cooperative. I think the new medicine is working.

Today she came to me and said," I'm sorry, but I don't remember your name." It was a sad moment for her. Once I reminded her she was okay.

She thinks her mother just died and this has been very heart wrenching for her. She has cried and wept over it, but is also accepting it.

Thanks to all her friends who call and write letters and love her--you are all special. I think she will always remember you.

Day to Day

2009-04-01T19:48:00.006-04:00

8 of mom and dad's great grandchildren. We all love you, GG and Grandpa Ed

Dad can never seem to get over how straight the trees are here in Michigan.

This is our spoiled dog, Lucy. Dad is spoiling her. He sneaks her food from the table even though he is not supposed to do it. Lucy is getting fat on doughnuts, chocolate, bread etc.

I guess we have a little boy living at our house again.

HAPPY 65TH ANNIVERSARY

2009-04-01T19:31:00.000-04:00

APRIL 1 ST 1944

DAD'S 85th BIRTHDAY

2009-03-26T18:58:00.007-04:00

We went to the Brookside Inn in Benzonia for an "all you can eat spaghetti" dinner
Anna and me

Dad and Anna

Mom and Dad

love

2009-03-21T11:51:00.002-04:00

Yesterday Dad showed me how much he loves Mom.

She was very confused and didn't know who any of us were-at one point, while Dad was cleaning the inside of the car for us, she walked outside and then took off toward the pole barn. He was very concerned and said,"What are we going to do with her, Susan?"

Even in his own dementia he knows she is losing ground. I said that one day she may have to go to a nursing home-Dad said,"Then I will have to go with her-I would never let her go alone."

This is love-until death do us part, in sickness and in health.

2009-03-19T19:40:00.002-04:00

Mom and Dad are happier together these past few days. We have had to administer some medications to help Mom from being so fussy at Dad-and it seems to be working. She has been much calmer and Dad, of course, is happier. Today he seemed to understand that we had to help her as she was very confused not knowing who Dad was. She looks so pretty with her short white hair and trim figure-Dad is still proud of her and always complimenting her. We love them.

Sunday

2009-03-15T16:50:00.002-04:00

Today we all went to church at Bible Believers Baptist Church in Mesick. Mom has not been wanting to shower and I still could not get her to bathe today, but she said she had washed her face!!!!!
They have visited with the pastor, Ben Townsend, a number of times and they like him.
However, when it was noon and he was on his 3rd point and we knew he had said that he had 5 points to cover Mom began to get quite loud about her opinion that it should be over. I had to slip her a note saying that it was better than sitting in the living room doing nothing-she looked at me and nodded her agreement.
We always have a Sunday dinner potluck at church and we wanted to stay-Mom and Dad went and sat in the car but Doug was able to convince them to come in and eat. Mom loved the desserts and the fellowship. We left Anna at church to visit with her friends and we headed home.
Dad had to stop at the gas station to use the restroom and while there he bought 4 doughnuts and a 24 oz. can of Bud light. Since Doug and I do not drink they have not had much in the way of beer lately. As soon as he was in the car they popped open the Bud and brought out the doughnuts!!!! Remember they had just had a huge meal and a lot of dessert. "Oh, this tastes soooo good-would you like a sip, Doug?" It was gone by the time we got home 15 minutes later-
A nice day for them-a good message at church-and hopefully a restful afternoon for the rest of us.

WEDDINGS

2009-03-10T15:14:00.003-04:00

Doug, Anna, and I went to Lena's wedding this past weekend. We had a caregiver stay with Mom and Dad. She is 25 years old and brought her 6 year old daughter with her - and her puppy!

It went very well. They played checkers with Dad and did puzzles and colored some big posters.

We were very glad that this worked out-we can feel good about doing it again. It makes Mom think of her wedding. Usually she will look at her wedding book and not realize that it is her in the pictures, but today she knew everyone in the old photos. We have had a really good day so far.

A SHIP WITHOUT A RUDDER

2009-03-10T15:09:00.002-04:00

Dad is so bewildered by his memory failure. He told me he is as a ship without a rudder. When you are sailing the rudder is what steers the boat, without it you just drift aimlessly-trying to go somewhere and yet not able to get there.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

2009-02-27T21:02:00.003-05:00

"Memory performs the impossible for man by the strength of his divine arms; holds together past and present, beholding both, existing in both, abides in the flowing,and gives continuity and dignity to human life. It holds us to our family, to our friends. Hereby a home is possible; hereby only a new fact has value."

This was written by Emerson who spent the last twelve years of his life with Alzheimer's disease. He could form no new memories at all.

At the funeral for Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, he is reported to have said of his friend of fifty years," The gentleman who lies here was a beautiful soul, but I have forgotten his name.

GLEN ELLYN

2009-02-23T15:08:00.003-05:00

We found a "secure" place for mom and dad in Illinois-close to where they used to live. It was very nice and they thought they were in a hotel until dad would try to go outside. He pushed against the doors until they opened into the courtyard and there he stood in the snow refusing to come back in. He said he felt as if he were in jail. Once he ran away in the courtyard and the workers had to chase him-then one day he ran up against the 9' fence-

So, he had to be on some medications to help him "adjust" to his new surroundings. Mom was put on some too and she seemed to be content-she was just visiting somewhere and most of the day she would pack and wait to go home-sitting with her gloves on.

She liked the games and the people-she still talks about how much fun she had there.

We all talked about it and decided that mom and dad could come and live with us here in Michigan at our home-we had brought their furniture over after they left Green Acres and it was in our large guest bedroom.

So, they are here and we love them and are trying to help them adjust to not going "home'.

They are off of all the drugs and dad, of course, is his mellow self again-he does not remember being in Glen Ellyn-the fence or the trapped feeling. I'm glad for that.

loves dies slowly

2009-02-22T15:09:00.007-05:00

I think mom somehow blames dad for what has happened to her and she is mad at him most of the time. "I don't love you anymore" she says- "you should get another wife" she barks- Dad does not understand that she is "sick" and he hurts so badly over this rejection.

"What can I do to make her happy again?" is his all day quest.

She swears a lot and calls him names- it hurts to see them like this as they have always been so in love. He would do anything for her - in his own dementia he cannot understand and there is no comfort we can give to him.

I Want to Die While You Still Love Me

I want to die while you still love me,

While yet you hold me fair,

While laughter lies upon my lips

And lights are in my hair.

I want to die while you still love me,

and bear to that still bed,

Your kisses turbulent, unspent,

To warm me when I'm dead.

I want to die while you still love me,

Oh, who would care to live

Till love has nothing more to ask

And nothing more to give!

I want to die while you still love me,

and never, never see

The glory of this perfect day

Grow dim or cease to be.

Georgia Johnson

stories

2009-02-19T14:42:00.004-05:00

While staying at our house as we were locating a new place for mom and dad they enjoyed telling old stories. Dad remembers quite vividly all his time in the navy. He got out a map one day and showed us all the places his ship went during the war and his duties while on it.

At dinner one night we were asking what he didn't like about Green Acres and he said he thought they put "salt peter" in the food like they did when he was at military school and in the navy!!

Mom said, "What is salt peter"? Doug and I tried not to laugh. Finally he told mom it was put in the food so that they wouldn't think about girls!!

REALLY

Must have worked at Green Acres!!!

GREEN ACRES

2009-02-18T19:15:00.002-05:00

THEY SPENT A MONTH AT GREEN ACRES. IT IS SUCH A NICE PLACE BUT DAD WANTED TO LEAVE-TO GO HOME. WE TRIED SOME DRUGS TO HELP HIM COPE AND THEY WORKED FOR AWHILE BUT THEN THEY BOTH WERE CAUSING PROBLEMS. THEY COULD NOT STAY - SO BACK TO OUR HOUSE THEY CAME UNTIL WE COULD FIND A PLACE FOR THEM.

Mr. and Mrs. Alz Heimer's common routine

2009-02-17T19:54:00.005-05:00

It makes about as much sense as this skit-

You wonder how they communicate at all.

Well, it is important for all to keep a sense of humor.

http://www

Today we went into Traverse City so that mom could have her pacemaker checked-it was working just fine-and for dad to go to get an eye exam and new glasses.

Seems Mom has about a 2 hour bad time each day from noon til 1 or 2 when she is mad at the world and expecially mad at Dad. She stalked off in Sam's Club and went into the parking lot alone. Then she sat in the back seat of the car and refused to eat any lunch with us. By the time we got home she was fine.

Dad just does not understand why she gets mad at him and I can not make him understand.

1944

2009-02-12T19:14:00.002-05:00

Mom and Dad enjoyed many happy times together as they got to know each other and fell in love, a love that has never ended. They are making this journey together into dementia-still loving one another and being there for each other.